Over thinking the Bali Massage

I must confess, I am only fairly new to the whole massage thing in Bali. I had dabbled in manicures and facials for many years, however I just could not quite get to the point of stripping down, mostly naked in front of a total stranger, allowing him/her to rub oil ALL over my body. However, since everyone else was doing it (yep I will blame peer pressure) I thought hmmm I might be missing out on something here.
It might be due to the whole “ happy ending “ thing that I have come to associate a Bali massage with the more sensual ( read seedy) side of Bali, however I became intrigued and thought hmmmm you only live once, how bad can I it be right?
Well, my mind tends to go into overdrive sometimes and of course what is meant to be a tension releasing, time out, pampering session initially stirred my brain into a frenzy. Even just starting with the being handed paper undies? whats wrong with my own undies ? where do I put the undies when the massage is over ? do other people wear the undies? Am I weird if I don’t accept the undies ……
I would initially lay on the table and try to make sure my face is squished as comfortable as possibly into the arkward little hole, then I would notice the dribble bowl underneath which can at times be filled with pretty flowers, fragrant oil or if your are at one of the total lux places, a small screen with relaxing images ( I did notice that didn’t have any dribble on it)
Once the masseuse gets started I kind of start to ponder what they are actually doing. Are they standing on the massage bed above me to get to that angle? Are they using there elbows? Yep I must relax, this is meant to be relaxing, hmmm it does feel nice, hang on did she just touch my boob! Is she meant to touch my boob? I am sure she has touched 1000 boobs but why is she touching my boob?????
I might get really adventurous and one day actually respond when they ask “is this ok miss?” other than ” yes thank you ” in regards to gentle, medium and firm pressure. I have gathered my assertiveness skills to politely decline the paper undies these days.
Whilst my husband prefers to pay about 60 000 rupiah for his massages, he always returns saying, either he had a small gathering looking on and chatting to the masseur about what’s for dinner during his massage, or he has caught someone riffling through his pant pockets for small change a couple of times or during his massage or the masseuse was privy to a little more of his private parts than perhaps should have been on display ( I wont go into detail but I am sure you can imagine the male anatomy of which could fall out of the paper undies). These stories do make me laugh and may actually be the root cause of my Bali massage anxiety. I do prefer the mid price range where the table is at least long enough to cater for my 5’9 height ( some places have too short tables to perhaps check this out before you say you want a 1 hour massage.
These days after a beautiful massage I still ponder why I don’t leave the room looking as good as I feel. In my mind I feel toned, relaxed, beautiful and refreshed. I sometimes and perhaps shouldn’t glance in the mirror to see a creased, sleepy face with wild woman hair. In saying all this I now really enjoy a good massage and at the first hint of that massage oil scent I get the dreamy look come over my face. I have some of my favourite place to go for a massage listed in my App in the day spa section if your willing to trust my opinion. Always on the search for the perfect massage let me know your favourite places to head to when in Bali ?

11 thoughts on “Over thinking the Bali Massage

  1. Great article, you took the words out of my mouth, after 20 years of visiting Bali, I guess I should give a go, great reading 🙂

    • Yeh there are much worse things in life and actually I really enjoy it now once my mind stops overthinking things and I have learnt to relax a little 🙂 , I am always here if you need to debrief hahahah 🙂 xxx

  2. Yep, gotta love paper undies! Pips on Melasti street has a wonderful hot stone massage, I fall asleep! Oh, and undies on as a policy, means no hanky panky! 🙂

  3. Chill in seminyak : best acupressure treatment I have ever had.Very professional
    Espace in seminyak for hair treatment with massage of head, arms, neck. Wonderful!

  4. You’re the best. I was laughing reading this, as I can so very much relate, especially about the boobies. Thank you – it’s reassuring to know that I’m not alone. Awesome blog by the way x

  5. Oh.my.Lord! I’ve had the ‘boob massage’ too – think I jumped so high, I scared the masseuse 😂 A N D I always thought that a ‘happy ending’, after a massage in Bali, was a myth … no wonder the hubby has one every day, we are there?!?! 😳😂

  6. I always go to Murano Spa in Seminyak. Mid priced but very luxurious and peaceful. They arrange local pick up and drop off too which is a major bonus. I have never thought about the paper undies before. I just do what i’m told lol.

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